I am coming home.

I always wanted my life to be exciting, without any routine. I thought that was the only way to fall in love with it and to live. I never wanted my days to be the same and I was running away from the system wake up-eat-work-eat-sleep etc. I was scared that if my days weren't different one from another, I would never find the real happines. So what have I done? At age of 19 I left for my first adventure, Cyprus. I became an entertainer in the hotel, so as you can imagine, there was not a single day without surprises. We were enjoying out lives, each day, each night. Everything was exciting. Everyday we were meeting new people, as there were new guests in the hotel, new crazy stramgers on the bar streets, new ideas, new stupid decisions. And the life has been going this way for almost 4 years. Every few months I was changing the place I have been living in, I was meeting new people and making new stupid decisions, which made my life more...fun, I guess. I always thought that this was the way the humans should go through this world, that the people who live just to go to work, earn money and sleep are just wasting their lives. What's te point of living if you're stuck in one city, with the same people and places every single day. No one can be happy existing like this. At least that's what I thought.

I couldn't be more wrong.

Ok maybe not about "wake up work sleep" theory, because I still believe that this is not the way to do it, to live. But now I know there is no need to change every month the city, the people, the job. That won't make me happy, that wouldn't make you happy, I think. 

Walking down the streets of Prague with my best friend on my side and her boyfriend on her side with her puppy following our steps and seeing her being so so happy I realized something very important. 

It's not about the changes, it's not about the places, the people, the job. It's all in your head, it is not real, it is not important. Why would you like to move if you're happy? Why would you like to change if something brings you smile on your face? The deal is to find that ONE place, ONE person, ONE job, which will make you feel something different. Because when you do, when you finally find a place, which you will be able to call "home", because that is what you feel in your heart, you won't be seeking anything different. 

I don't say "keep it same keep it simple", because small changes are good. But don't think that your life depends on that. Sometimes old things are much better than something "improved" or "modified". If you want to change that old bed you've been sleeping on since years, move the kitchen table, put some plants on the window, cut your hair, stop eating vanilla ice-cream and try the banana ones, don't be scared to try new things, to change. But at the same time don't be afraid to settle. Don't be afraid of the routine in your life, because sometimes it may be the best thing that will happen to you in a day. 

You wake up with a bed hair day. You're late to work. You forgot to buy the coffee. Your car does't want to start. The bus didn't arrive on time. You made your suit dirty with this donut from the street seller. You lost your phone. You broke the heel. Your mom is still pushing on this wedding. 

Bum.

He's hugging you.

She's smiling at you.

He comes to listen.

They want to meet.

You try to help.

She, He, They, You. That's what matter. Those are the people, who no matter what will bring your soul up, will cheer you up, will make a change. And that's the important difference you can be seeking for in your life. You don't need a flight ticket or a new job for that. Because life can be hard, can throw shit in front of you or give you lemons and no tequila. But that's ok. Nothing and no one is perfect. No one's life is perfect, even if they do say that online. Instagram, Facebook...that can fool you and you can feel like you deserve more. If she could go to Hawaii, why are you stuck in this small town with no KFC?! If he can purpose, why are you still wanking under the table dreaming of the perfect girlfriend? 

First of all, you don't have to. You can bring a difference if you want to. You can have it all if you try, if you do something about it. But just because she looks good in this blue dress it doesn't mean it'd be your colour. It could make you fat. So don't try to change your life, just because someone else's is different. Chase your own happiness, own dreams and goals. But don't depend on changes and don't make the same mistake as I did.

I was so focused on making my life exciting, special, that I wasn't able to be happy about simple things, which were happening on a daily basis. I was chasing impossible, trying to run away from the routine. Don't get me wrong, as I do not dare to complain, I loved my life the way it was and I am happy about almost every decision I made in my life. It made me who I am, it built me. But it also made me realize that sometimes the most beautiful things and the most beautiful life is waiting just in front of you. I was blind thinking that the plane ticket would change my life, would make me happier. It has. Every time. But then when I was changing and had to start everything from the beginning...I was left with nothing. I had to start from the big zero. Every time when I was going "home" I had to look for myself over and over again. I have never had my own own place for a longer. I had apartments, rooms etc. but it was never for a long term, I was always prepared for something new, for a change.. Now I know everyone needs their base. The place you could call home and in which you could put this ugly picture on the wall, this fluffy rug next to your bed, the star wars' collection. Who cares if it's ugly, pointless, if it's a waste. It is YOURS. This one thing you don't ever have to change. And that's what matters. 

You don't need a crowd of people to feel happy and mostly you won't feel happy in a crowd of people. Too many is sometimes too much. Sometimes simplicity is the answer. Sometimes just one smile is all you need.